Picture this: a young couple gets married, and as they start their life together, they realize they have VERY different views about money. The wife believes the key to building wealth is getting a good-paying, secure job, putting money aside each month in your 401k, and planning for a sound retirement. Plus, she will get her pension if she stays at her current job. The husband believes that the stock market is volatile and unpredictable. He thinks the key to building wealth is going into business for yourself so you can control your destiny. He believes investing in real estate and cryptocurrency is the best way to make money.
You can see how these beliefs about money form. Is one person more “right” than the other? No, they both are correct. It is just about your beliefs. These are called internal money scripts.
A money script is an unconscious belief about money that influences how someone thinks and acts financially. Money scripts are often formed in childhood and can be passed down through generations. And we all have them. Left unchecked, these money scripts can play a significant role in making financial decisions, for better or worse.
Have you ever heard yourself or someone else say something along the lines of:
“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“We can’t afford that.”
“You can’t grow a business without debt.”
“Nobody has $15,000 lying around.”
“Debt is evil.”
“That’s a rich man’s game.”
“That’s too risky.”
“I could never start my own business.”
“I’ll never be able to buy a house.”
“Investing is for rich people.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be out of credit card debt.”
“I’ve just accepted that I’ll always have a car payment.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to retire.”
“I feel guilty spending money on myself.”
“I’ll never be good with money.”
“Men should provide for their family.”
“I deserve this because I work hard.”
“Everyone lives this way.”
“That’s too expensive.”
How money scripts are formed:
- People may learn money scripts by observing their parents’ behavior
- People may consciously learn money scripts from their parents
- Financial flashpoints, such as divorce, job loss, or poverty, can impact money scripts
If any of these money scripts feel familiar, you are not alone.
Every single person I have talked to has an internal money script. Myself included.
The funny thing is that they are rarely accurate and sometimes harmful.
Here are some of the common types:
These beliefs can run deep, so deep that they go beyond thoughts. They are rooted so deep that some individuals believe this is true with every fiber of their being.
You need to learn to challenge and reframe your thoughts to reduce your reliance on your current internal money script.
1) Step 1: Reflect on your earliest memories surrounding money.
Let’s rewind to your childhood. What were the key money lessons you absorbed?
Was money a constant source of worry at home, or was it a non-issue? These early experiences have a powerful impact on your current financial beliefs.
Think back: Did your parents clash over bills? Were you encouraged to save or splurge? Did you sense anxiety, abundance, or something else entirely around money?
You might have inherited beliefs like “Money is hard to earn,” “Save everything,” “More money equals happiness,” or “Don’t talk about money.” Recognizing these inherited scripts is the first step to understanding and changing financial habits.
2) Step 2: Challenge these beliefs. Are they still relevant?
Are your money beliefs stuck in the past?
Your money scripts, often inherited, might be outdated. Many “truths” about money stem from the Great Depression: “Don’t risk it,” “Save everything,” “Debt is evil.” But do they fit your life? Do they fuel your goals?
Want wealth? A scarcity mindset blocks smart risks. Chasing money at the cost of living life? Reassess your values. Are they holding you back?
Avoiding risks from ingrained fears? Overspending to keep up with the Joneses? Time to rewrite your scripts. Shift “Save everything” to “Balance saving and living.”
3) Step 3: Take proactive steps.
Changing your money story means more than just thinking differently. If a scarcity mindset is your roadblock, let’s build a budget that works for both saving and living.
Start Building Those Positive Habits:
Set up automatic savings, tackle debt head-on, or explore new income streams.
Small Steps, Big Impact:
Even a simple budget or savings account can build your confidence. Don’t hesitate to get support if you’re feeling lost with money. A financial coach can help you organize, and a planner can guide your long-term strategy.
Take Control of Your Finances:
Review your goals and progress regularly. Are you on track for retirement? Are you investing in your future? The more you engage with your finances, the more you’ll replace limiting beliefs with empowering habits.
4) Step 4: Talk about money.
Transform Your Family’s Money Story: Open the Dialogue.
Money is often shrouded in silence, but breaking that taboo creates lasting change. Honest conversations across generations foster healthier money relationships.
Create a Legacy of Financial Wisdom:
Share your experiences to educate children and younger family members about the value of money, responsible spending, and strategic investing. By sharing your insights, you can break the cycle of limiting beliefs.
Cultivate a Culture of Financial Empowerment:
Establish a family culture where money is a tool for achieving aspirations and living a fulfilling life. Engage in budgeting, investing, and philanthropic giving discussions, and collaboratively set family financial objectives.
Empower Future Generations Through Open Communication:
The dialogues you initiate today will empower future generations to make informed financial decisions. By fostering open communication about money, you dismantle stigma and cultivate a legacy of financial literacy and autonomy.
Understanding and transforming your money scripts is a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. It’s about recognizing that your financial beliefs, often shaped by past experiences, aren’t fixed. They are malleable and can be reshaped to align with your goals and aspirations. By reflecting on your childhood, challenging outdated beliefs, taking proactive steps, and fostering open conversations about money, you can break free from limiting patterns and create a healthier, more prosperous financial future. It’s not about being “right” or “wrong” in your beliefs but about creating an economic narrative that serves you, your family, and your future. So, take the first step, challenge those inherited scripts, and write a new chapter in your financial story – one of clarity, confidence, and lasting success.
