For a long time, I had a story.
It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t even that obvious.
But it was there, quietly running in the background every time I thought about my finances:
I just need to make more money.
More income would fix it. More income would create the breathing room. More income would finally make me feel secure.
And here’s the thing…more income certainly doesn’t hurt.
But what did hurt was refusing to fully own where I actually was.
Because as long as I was waiting for “more” to arrive before I got serious about my money…I wasn’t building anything. I was just waiting.
The shift didn’t come from a budgeting app or a finance book.
It came when I stopped following someone else’s script.
Traditional money advice is pretty consistent: max out your 401(k). Contribute early. Let compound interest do the work.
That’s solid advice — for someone it fits.
It didn’t fit me.
I didn’t have access to a 401(k) for years. And instead of waiting until I did, I flipped the conventional order entirely.
I invested in real estate first. Then I built a business. Then — eventually, once my company was able to offer it — a 401(k).
Not the “right” order according to most financial playbooks.
But the right order for my life, my income, and where I actually was.
And that’s when something clicked for me — something I now see play out with almost every client I work with:
There is no one right way to do this. There is only the way that works for you.
Now, when I’m coaching someone, I listen carefully for a specific pattern.
It usually sounds like one of two things.
The first is absolute language:
“Nobody can actually do that.” “That’s just not possible for someone like me.” “That only works for people who already have money.”
The second is the word should.
“I know I should be saving more.” “I should have started investing by now.” “I should be further along.”
When I hear either of those things, my ears perk up.
Because that language isn’t just a sentence — it’s a window into the story someone is telling themselves about what’s available to them.
And nine times out of ten, that story is the real thing standing between them and progress.
Not their income. Not their circumstances. The story.
So how do you catch yourself in a false narrative — and actually change it?
Here’s what I teach my clients:
1. Notice the trigger words. “Should,” “never,” “always,” “everyone else,” “too late,” “not enough” — these are your red flags. You don’t have to eliminate them overnight. Just start noticing when they show up. Awareness is the first move.
2. Get curious instead of defensive. When you catch a narrative, don’t fight it. Ask it a question instead. “Is that actually true — or does it just feel true?” Most false money narratives feel like facts because we’ve been carrying them so long. Getting curious creates a little space between you and the story.
3. Find one piece of counter-evidence. You don’t need to overhaul your entire belief system at once. You just need one example that proves the story wrong. If your narrative is “I’ll never be good with money,” find one financial decision you made that worked. Even a small one. Evidence is how narratives change.
4. Replace the script with something more honest. Not toxic positivity — just accuracy. Instead of “I should be further along,” try “I’m starting from where I am, and that’s enough to work with.” Instead of “I can’t afford to invest,” try “I haven’t found the right structure for investing yet.” Same situation. Completely different starting point.
5. Get a second opinion. This is the one most people skip. Our money narratives are deeply personal, which means we’re often too close to them to see them clearly. Talking to someone — a coach, a trusted friend, a financial professional — can surface beliefs you didn’t even know you were carrying.
I know, because I lived it.
I spent years telling myself I needed more before I could do more.
What I actually needed was to stop waiting — and start building from exactly where I was.
The math got a lot better once I changed the narrative.
And if you’re quietly carrying a “should” or a “never” around with you right now…
That might be worth looking at.
What’s a money story you’ve been telling yourself?
